I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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