I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
