Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
