**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
There r osticjed everywhere
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
