is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
