I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
MIDGETS
????
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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