naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
