I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
