i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
