Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
