Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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