sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
