Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Randomize
