i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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