I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
