he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
being pregnant is like rehab
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
