it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
