I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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