I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
