Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
