after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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