I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
