You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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