ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
