Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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