She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
