We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
