OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
