Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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