I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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