you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You made out with two different species that night
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
