I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
