So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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