Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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