Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
