No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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