the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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