Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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