My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
