I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
