ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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