My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
