u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
