You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
