she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
