I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
