Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
