My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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