why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
