We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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