He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
