Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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