can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
